With the coming of the holiday season, the FBI (Food and Body Improvement group) has issued their "TEN MOST UNWANTED" list.
The list comprises the ten most UNWANTED habits the WLS patient wishes to see return to his/her lifestyle. Here is the list, beginning with number ten:
10. Casper Carbonation--Slyly tricks unsuspecting RNY patients into believing that it is okay to drink "diet sodas". The carbonization causes their pouches to be "stretched" without their realizing it is happening.
9. Sam (aka "The Shoveler") Schwartz--Shovels food from the plate to his mouth without stopping. Never puts the utensil down between bites.
8. Clara the Closet Eater--Hides her eating from those around her. No one can understand her lack of weight-loss; "She NEVER eats!"
7. Louise Lethargic--Never has the (perceived) energy to exercise as she is supposed to.
6. Gertrude Grazer--Never "stops" to eat, but eats continually all day, never realizing what she has eaten.
5. Carrie Carbohydrate--Skips the meat, fruit and vegetables. Heads straight to the breads and sweets.
4. Lasagna Liz--Places layers of food on her plate in order to "maximize space"....is able to blend all of her favorite foods "without eating one whole helping"!
3. Bob (aka Big Bob) Portions--Consistently eats larger portions than recommended until caloric intake exceeds what the body needs to function.
2. Carmella (aka Sticky Fingers) Carmel--Eats anything containing any type of carmel.
1. Charlie the Chocolaholic--Craves nothing but chocolate all day long.
Please do all you can to resist the temptation to allow these nefarious individuals back into your life. Their motto remains "If there is room for one, there's room for all!"
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